When Your Husband has Given Up.... or Has He?

I'm fighting to survive here. Fighting to live a normal life. Fighting to walk better, breath better and eat better. I struggle with emotions daily. Sometimes the emotions are so over whelming, that it brings me to my knees and I just cry and cry. I cry out "WHY GOD?", sobbing some more "WHY HAVE YOU LET ME SUFFER SO MUCH? PLEASE, JUST TAKE THE PAIN AWAY!". What kind of pain? Well most of the time it is the kind that is so deep and so raw, you think that it will never heal. Then there are the days that the physical pain is so bad, it is all I can do to just stand up and walk to my own kitchen. And lately, I have been suffering alone. 
I started this fight with my husband and we did good together after we came home from the 'Lose it For Life' seminar. I stuck to my gun and dove straight into week two and Ted just kind of hung back a bit. Week after week, I kept mustering the strength to keep going, then one week I realized, Ted was not there with me. He stopped. Back to his old habits of big lunches, second servings, no fruit, lots of tea and coffee, no water. What happened? I thought we were doing this together. I thought you were supporting me and helping me. I thought we were a team... I thought you were going to give me hope and be there when I fell. I thought you were supposed to be leader and keep me from falling. I thought, I thought,  I thought. I think I thought it was all about me and I forgot him. I forgot to support him. Instead I critiqued him. I was supposed to encourage him, instead I ignored him. I kept this to me... it was all about me... ME!! I wanted to scream at him.. WHY DID YOU STOP HELPING ME??!? I NEED YOU TO HELP ME!!! But he stopped. He just stopped. I couldn't figure it. He wants me to lose weight, right? He wants me to be healthy, right? SO what was the problem? 
Oh.... I forgot about him. I forgot that he was wounded too. That he had a past that he needed help from. I forgot to give him encouragement. I forgot to show him that this journey was for us, not me. What have I done. Did I lose the one person who could be my biggest supporter because of my negligence? Did I push him too much when I got angry at him for over eating and not caring? What have I done? Oh... Ted, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Is it too late?
No, it is not too late. We just pick up where we lost it a few weeks ago. But this time with out the anger, with out the finger pointing, with out the guilt trips. Instead, we start each day as if it a new beginning. We give each other a chance to breath and share. I need to step back and give him what he needs. I need to support him and encourage him. Ask him why he feels the need to eat more that day, not get angry. I need to change my attitude and remember that is not about me all the time. It is about us and our marriage. It is about making this marriage whole again, one step at time. I'm not the only one in the journey. He is in it too. And he needs me as much as I need him. 
Ted, never gave up on me. I gave up on him and that was the wrong path to take. I never even realized I had done it . I was so into me, that I forgot. Love that man of mine. Love that he never stopped being there for me. Love that he still makes me that special cup of coffee each morning. Love that he tells me no when I want something I can not have. Love that he loves me enough to be the one to show me I was wrong. And I was. 
We can do this together. 
I love you, Ted..........................